thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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