never play flip cup with pint glasses
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
