All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize