I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
