Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize