i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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