Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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