I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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