so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
