Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's like iHOP with fire
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
