I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
