I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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