This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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