My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
