How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
