Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
