she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
