i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im six kinds of drunk right now
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
