come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize