On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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