i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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