Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize