So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
