He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
