escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
