You don't have asthma, your pregnant
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
