I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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