Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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