Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
