she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
