Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
