The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
