I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
