I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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