I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
