areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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