My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It was confusing and full of hummus
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
