I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
