brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I came so hard my ears popped.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
