wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize