We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The adults are the big ones right?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
