playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
