I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
