Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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