He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I could make wine with my vomit
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
