I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
