cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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