Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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