Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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