Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize