we have officially mastered the walk of shame
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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