He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
