he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
