it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
