JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
