oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize