Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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