ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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