My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
