Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
