first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
