It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You made out with two different species that night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
