after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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