that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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