Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
