My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
