Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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