There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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